Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
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Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
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I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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