There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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