It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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