I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im holly from the hills drunk
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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