So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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