So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
