Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
