wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
