He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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