i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
