im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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