once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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