Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
