I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
