Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Couch. On fire.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
