The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
