too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
