so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
