i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
