Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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