you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
