That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
