my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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