Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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