Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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