I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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