And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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