there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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