yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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