I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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