She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
