Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize