I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
