white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
