A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
