Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
