We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
