Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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