This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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