she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I didn't notice because vodka
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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