If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
