i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
