I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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