you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
