you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
