meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize