I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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