great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize