Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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