there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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