I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
