i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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