Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
