sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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