I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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