And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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