HIV tests are more positive than that guy
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
