If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
