To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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