It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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