No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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