Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I will pee on everything he values.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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