this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
