You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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